


Everything I Wanted

by infernalstars



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Alex Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Autistic Luke Patterson, Bisexual Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Dyslexic & ADHD Alex, F/M, Hurt Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), M/M, Minor Ableism, Multi, Pansexual Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Queerplatonic Relationships, Reggie Has ADHD (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Stimming, The Phantoms are in a QPR because I say so, Unconditional Love, Wholesome, i hate their parents, kind of explicit mention of death, mentions of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27981357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infernalstars/pseuds/infernalstars
Summary: Reggie, Alex and Luke are given a second chance to be a band and a second chance for acceptance. Also they're all in love.
Relationships: Alex & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie
Comments: 4
Kudos: 130





	Everything I Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO! 
> 
> so! 
> 
> read the tags for trigger warnings. i get into some detail about the death but not much. skip past the 1995 section if you don't want to read about that. 
> 
> in this fic reggie, alex and luke in a queerplatonic relationship because so am i and they deserve it. also, not a single character in this show is het and neurotypical and i RAN with that
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoy <33

1994

Reggie came to the garage loft a lot. It was his safe space. Away from his parents, away from the stress of school and his shitty grades. Here he had his bass and his friends. His best friends. 

The loft was his favorite because he felt alone there. A good type of alone. Peaceful. It usually took his family and bandmates a few hours to find him up there among extra clothes and blankets and pillows. 

If he had forgotten to take his meds he usually wound up here, spaced out and lost in his own little world. His doctor had gotten upset that he admitted to forgetting the medication so often, but it wasn’t his fault ADHD made him forgetful. He was trying his best. It never felt enough. 

At least, he got medication for his ADHD. Alex’s parents didn’t believe in medicine or the diagnosis his doctors gave them. Their son wasn’t dyslexic with ADHD he just needed to work harder and with the strength of God he’d figure it out. This meant the band usually did all their homework together to help Alex and Reggie focus, and to help Alex with readings. 

Reggie shouldn’t have been surprised when his bandmates came in. It was just after when they all ate dinner, when they usually did homework or practiced. Reggie was distantly aware that meant he missed dinner. He forgot to eat a lot. 

He had been too busy getting lost in his thoughts and now he was more focused on the conversation going on down below. He leaned over, watching Luke pull Alex down onto the couch. 

“I’m serious. They’ll kill me if they find out I’m gay,” Alex said. 

Oh, shit. Reggie definitely wasn’t supposed to be listening to this. He panicked, looking around. He could hide up here without them knowing but they were meant to meet for brand practice. They'd figure it out. He didn't particularly care that Alex was gay, he just knew this probably wasn't how Alex wanted him to find out. 

“They almost killed me because I said I was anxious. If I tell them I’m gay--” 

“You don’t have to tell them.”

“Yeah, I do.” 

Luke just frowned. He didn't understand Alex’s desire to be upfront with his parents even when he knew the consequences. That was just how Alex was, but Luke couldn't fathom it. 

Luke seemed intent on figuring it out but he noticed Reggie’s bike tossed to the side near the drums. His eyes snapped up to Reggie. 

“Reggie,” Luke said quietly. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Reggie said automatically. “I didn’t mean to listen. I-Uh-” 

“We should have checked for you,” Alex said quietly. 

Reggie climbed down from the loft quickly and made his way across the room to Alex. He hesitated, staring down at Alex. “Can I give you a hug?” 

Alex nodded, climbing to his feet. He let Reggie hug him tight. 

Reggie constantly craved physical affection, something he didn’t get much of at home. He knew Alex didn’t either, but he also knew Alex and Luke were more particular about touch. Especially Luke. Luke hated to be touched, especially without being asked. Hands and hair were safe if you asked, but he hated for anything, even clothes to be touching him. 

“You aren’t...It’s not weird to you that I’m gay?” Alex asked, stepping back. 

Reggie made a face. “Why would it be?” 

Alex shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Thank you.” 

Reggie nodded and sat himself down in his chair. Luke was chewing on his hoodie strings. Reggie knew the look on his face. Something was bothering him. 

“What is it?” Reggie asked gently. 

Luke’s face turned a light shade of red. He pointed to himself, then to Reggie and held his arms out for a hug. 

“You sure?” 

“You sure,” Luke echoed with a nod. 

Reggie smiled and stood up to hug Luke. Luke had a hard time with words, sometimes. He communicated best through music. Through lyrics, performing. 

Luke gave him a short hug before sitting back down. He put his hoodie string back into his mouth. Luke’s parents were in full denial of his autism which had been misdiagnosed as ADHD when he was younger. A few years ago when Luke moved to town and he saw a new doctor, they were confused as to why the diagnosis had ever been made. 

Reggie felt guilty whenever he complained about his home life because at least his parents actually tried in the slightest with his ADHD. The guys were clearly struggling in ways Reggie could never understand. 

Luke leaned his head against Alex and the three of them sat in silence waiting for Bobby to arrive.

-

1995 

A lot of things can change in a year. 

For one, Alex did come out as gay. It didn’t go well, as expected, and he spent most of his time in the garage. Reggie’s parents were worse so the pair of them practically lived in the garage together. 

Luke had run away a few months ago when his mom said the band wouldn’t go any where. This band was the most important thing to Luke, music meant everything. Why didn’t they understand it? 

Alex hadn’t had an answer for Luke when he cried about it at night. Alex however did have an answer when Reggie’s hand slipped into his hand one night and it just made sense. And when Luke grabbed the other one. 

It wasn’t romantic, none of them felt that way for each other. 

They were just them. 

It made sense. 

And tonight they were going to play the Orpheum. 

Luke was doing his happy hands and Reggie was cracking his knuckles watching them set up the stage. 

It was all too good to be true. 

Alex spun his drum sticks in his hands. Tonight was supposed to be their night. 

Supposed to be. 

All he could think of was Luke not getting to play the Orpheum. His dream. Reggie having to watch them suffer. His nightmare. 

Not them too. Not them too, Alex begged whatever God existed. 

Everything burned, his vision blurred. He reached for his band mates. Not them too. 

He could stand dying, but not if it meant them dying too. They had to live. 

It was supposed to be their night. 

Their lives might have been hell, but this wasn't the answer. They were fixing it. 

Alex was weeks away from being eighteen and leaving home and starting medicine for ADHD. He almost graduated from high school. 

Luke was going to go to his parents after tonight to show them they were wrong. 

Reggie was starting new medication that seemed to be helping a lot. 

But no. 

They'd never get that. 

It wasn't fair. 

Nothing in their lives had been. 

-

The Room, 1995-2020

Luke watched Alex sit himself down in the corner of the dark room. He burst into tears and kept whispering that this wasn't supposed to happen. He rocked himself back and forth. 

Luke was bad at comforting people. He didn't know how to help. The things that helped him never helped other people. It didn't make sense to me. He stopped trying to help a long time ago. Luke was too confused by their current dilemma to help him now, anyway.

“I-I think we're dead,” Reggie whispered finally. 

Luke looked over at him. 

Reggie nods. “I think we died.”

“We died,” Luke echos. “B-but the Orpheum. We will play soon. We have to go so we won't be late!” 

Luke raised his voice, frightening the other two boys. He was getting upset. He pushed on the black walls of their room furiously. 

“Luke. We aren't playing,” Reggie whispered. 

“We’re going to be late!” Luke shouted, kicking the wall. 

Reggie put himself between the wall and Luke. “Look at me, Luke. We can't--we're dead. Those were bad hot dogs and we can't go back. We're dead. No Orpheum.”

Luke stepped back. “No, we have--So close.”

“I know…” Reggie said sadly. 

“I wish it was just me that died,” Alex admits between sniffles. 

“We're nothing without you,” Luke said sincerely. “Nothing. It's the three of us or nothing.”

“The three of us or nothing,” Reggie agreed. 

“I--”

Alex started to say something when the ground beneath them started glowing. Then they were falling. 

-

2020

Reggie and Julie got along well. Not in the way Luke and Julie did, or the way that Alex and Julie had bonded over being queer. And not like Alex, Luke and Reggie got along. Not at all. 

They trusted each other. It was easy to talk to each other. So easy it became routine for Reggie to up to Julie’s room and talk for hours with her. It was easy. 

It was how she found out about his ADHD. He kept forgetting what he started saying or accidentally spaced out and he got mad at himself. He apologized profusely like he did to everyone else while he was alive.

“Reggie, it's alright. I'm not mad,” Julie said quietly.

“I just...as a ghost I can't take my medication so focusing is hard. I get really spacey and I don't mean to,” Reggie said quietly. “I want to listen but sometimes it's hard.”

It was likely Julie already noticed Alex and Reggie’s tendency to zone out and Luke’s tendency to redirect their attention because they needed to practice. Luke had laser focus when it came to song writing whereas Reggie reserved that type of energy for Star Wars. 

It wasn't that they were uninterested. It was just hard sometimes. Like now. Reggies cared immensely what Julie was saying, but his brain locked onto one thing she said and spiraled somewhere else entirely. 

Julie told him it was perfectly okay. She didn't ask any other questions. 

“It's for ADHD,” he blurted. 

“Oh. Thank you for telling me. You didn't have to,” Julie said. “Are there things that could help you focus besides medication?” 

“I don't know, honestly. The medication seemed to be the only thing that ever worked.”

Julie nodded. “I could do some research online. Maybe--”

Alex poofed in, startling them both. 

“Reg,” Alex said after apologizing. “It's Luke.”

“What's Luke?” Julie asked, but both ghosts had returned to the garage. 

When they first showed up, he made them promise to never let Julie see him meltdown. It was ugly and he felt so small and helpless. 

He didn't want her thinking of him like that. 

The thing was, is that Reggie trusted Julie. She'd never think that of him. He didn't know how to convey that to Luke without upsetting him. He wouldn't have to though. 

Luke had isolated himself up in the loft like he did when he was upset. It was a habit because Reggie was usually there to help comfort him, slowly talk him down to a point where he could breath. 

Reggie poofed down below him near the ladder. “Luke. Can I come up?” 

One knock responded. 

Yes. 

Reggie climbed up and sat with his legs dangling down the cut out in the floor to give Luke space. 

“Can you talk?” 

Two knocks. 

No. 

Reggie nods. “Okay. That’s fine. Can I touch you?” 

Instead of knocking yes or no, Luke laid down with his head near Reggie so the boy could play with his hair. Luke chewed his knuckles and flapped his hand as he laid on his side. 

Reggie played with his hair and hummed to him. 

“Is he okay?” Julie demanded, barging in, startling the vocalist laying next to Reggie. 

Alex shushed Julie and ushered her outside. 

Luke started to panic. The last thing he had wanted was for Julie to see him like that. Reggie moved back again as Luke sat up, staring at the door. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Reggie said, keeping his voice quiet. “I told her earlier than I had ADHD, it’s okay. She was really nice about it.” 

“I don’t want--She’ll think--”

Reggie frowned. “It’ll be okay. She’s not going to think of you any different.” 

“They always do.”

Reggie frowned. His parents really messed him up.

“Luke,” Julie's voice called out. “Can you come down here?” 

Luke echoed the words, nodding to Reggie. The pair climbed down the ladder slowly, Reggie waiting at the bottom. Luke latched onto the sleeve of his leather jacket and walked over to the couch where Julie sat. 

“Alex said I should hear from you what’s going on,” Julie said. 

Luke tugged on Reggie’s sleeve and pointed to Reggie. 

“You sure?” 

Luke nodded. 

“He has a hard time with words when he's like this. He didn’t want you to see him like this and think less of him.” 

“I would never,” she fixed her eyes on Luke. “Never.” 

Luke nodded, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. 

“Can I tell her?” Reggie asked and received another nod in response. “Luke is autistic. He was upset earlier because of a meltdown.” 

Julie nodded. “Is there anything I can do to help when he's upset.” 

“He just needs space. He can usually calm himself down,” Reggie said, looking over at Luke who was chewing on his knuckle. Reggie gently nudged it out of his mouth and offered Luke his hoodie strings to chew on instead. 

“We all met in special education classes actually,” Alex said. 

“You too?” Julie asked with genuine interest, not judgement. 

Alex nods. “I have dyslexia and ADHD.”

Julie nods. Reggie can see her filing away that information. 

“Thank you for telling me. Trusting me. I love you guys,” Julie says, not for the first time. Under these circumstances, it sets off Luke in a good way. 

He moves toward the couch and sits next to Julie, opening his arms up for a hug. Julie smiled, pulling him close. 

It felt weird to be told you were loved for something that your parents, the people meant to love you unconditionally, were ashamed of. It was weird in a good way, Reggie realized when Luke pulled back smiling.


End file.
